Better Lives: Jacqui's journey - an Allen Carr success story of sobriety

It’s been surprisingly easy. I stopped drinking a week before the Easyway seminar because I wanted to give myself confidence going into the seminar. 

Giving myself a date where I wasn’t allowed to drink anymore proved beneficial for me, and I purposefully set that date a few months in advance. Last October I decided that I was going to stop drinking after the festive season, and that gave me the opportunity to visualise myself as a non-drinker in the new year. I had also completed Dry July the year before, so I was prepared, and I enjoyed that month of no drinking. 

Horton McCormick was the seminar facilitator for my programme, and everything he said made so much sense. I was also ready to listen, so I think that helped, and a lot of what he was saying really resonated with what I was already thinking. The six-hour seminar initially sounded daunting, but the day flew by. It proved to be immensely valuable to me.

It was more of an amalgamation of a whole lot of things. I’ve always been a big drinker, like binge drinking where a bottle of wine was never enough. The feeling of waking up in the morning and not remembering what had happened or asking my partner if I ate dinner - that was all too common for me. The anxiety that I was waking up with in the morning was the clincher. I hated that feeling, and it got to a point where I worked out that I didn’t want that anymore.  

I also have teenage boys and I didn’t want them to see their mum in that situation. There were also health reasons. I like being healthy, eating well and exercising, and the booze was against that whole ideology. 

Looking back now it seems like a no-brainer, but it took time for me to get in the right headspace and to accept that I didn’t want alcohol in my life. For me, it's been a constant problem since I had my first alcoholic drink at the age of 13. 

I had concerns because all my friends drink apart from one. Not only that, but everyone also knows me as a drinker. But funnily enough, as time goes on, I think the people around me think about me being sober more than I do.

One example is a group of us going to a rugby test match, it was the All Blacks vs Wallabies playing in the Bledisloe Cup in August. A friend of mine had never been to a test match before and asked if I had. I said I’d been a few times and he responded by saying “this will be the first time you’re going sober though.” I hadn’t even considered that, but obviously he had been thinking about it.

A lot of my friends also don’t expect my sobriety to be a forever thing. They say things like “if you’re still not drinking by then, you’ll be able to drive us” or “we’re celebrating so you’ll need to have a glass of bubbles.” It’s interesting because when you quit smoking, people congratulate you, yet when you stop drinking, people question it as they assume you feel like you’re missing out. Whereas I feel like they are missing out.  

Alcohol is such a problem, especially in New Zealand. When I was young, it felt like it was expected that you go out and socialise, and you wouldn’t have a good time without a belly full of booze.

It was purely by chance as I’m an active member of the AIA Vitality programme, and I love looking through the available benefits. I was having a look one day and saw the Easyway programme was one of the benefits, and being complementary, I thought it was a no-brainer for me to give it a go.  

It all seemed to line up for me. I guess I was in the right headspace having already made the decision to quit drinking in the new year, so when the Easyway programme popped up, I thought why not? Having the ability to do these programmes through AIA Vitality is absolutely life changing.

I think some people have this assumption that you’ve got to be labelled as an ‘alcoholic’ or ‘problem drinker’ to benefit from this programme. The reality is, it's for anybody who drinks any amount of alcohol. But I think you also need to be in the right headspace so you’re open to what’s being said. 

I think the programme is beneficial for anyone who’s realising that they don’t need alcohol, and it’s not something that adds positivity to their life. I think a lot of people reading this will think, ‘of course there’s benefits to drinking’, but until you have sat through this seminar, you won’t realise that there are zero benefits. It’s a pointless habit and life is a million times better without it.

It keeps me moving and keeps track of the days I run or bike, or even just hitting my target step count. The app also tells me when I’ve had a good sleep or when I haven’t, and rewards me for healthy behaviour. I think it’s the acknowledgement that you’re doing something good for yourself and getting something in return.

AIA Vitality New Zealand is the only branch globally that offers members access to the Easyway alcohol seminar, for free. That’s obviously been the biggest thing for me – absolutely life changing.  

Just do it! You don't know how good it is until you do it. Also don’t be too hard on yourself. Take small steps towards a positive change in your life so you can start thriving. You don’t have to go cold turkey! If you’re not ready, start small and get the ball rolling with Dry July or Sober October (Octsober) if that suits you better. It was participating in Dry July that got the ball rolling for me to realise that I didn’t need alcohol, and it wasn’t adding positively to my life.