Ian Jones: Simple ways to give kindness this Christmas

When you talk about ‘paying it forward’, a lot of people think that you need to spend money. Some people might not be in a position to make a donation to a charity, buy gifts, or buy someone a bag of groceries. But the most powerful acts of giving don’t have to involve money. And as we gear up for the festive season, when the idea of ‘giving’ takes centre stage, I think that’s important to remember.

To me, the idea of paying it forward means giving yourself and your time. Time is the greatest gift you can give to another person. Time doesn’t cost you anything, but it can change someone’s day, and have a huge impact on your own self-esteem too. And we all have time to offer, even the busiest people in the world. You just need to make it a priority.

Now, more than ever, the world needs kindness. Kindness has so many benefits to ourselves and others. It benefits our health; creates a sense of belonging, improves our happiness and mental health, and can even reduce stress and anxiety.

One of the best ways to communicate kindness is through giving. It can be as simple as smiling at a stranger as they walk past you on the street, or helping carry someone’s shopping to their car. And when you do those things, it makes you feel good about yourself too.

This year has been a challenging one for everyone. No one has avoided the effects of COVID-19. We used to live in this certain world where we knew most things that would happen, like our work and our routines. Everything’s much more up in the air now. People are struggling financially and emotionally. Some people are lonely.

So if you see an opportunity – perhaps someone’s struggling with their groceries, or they’re just looking a little lost – go over and say “Hey! How’s your day going? What’s happening with you? Can I give you a hand with those bags? Let me buy you a cup of coffee.” Those sorts of conversations can really help. Especially when you see that person a week later and they say “Hey, thanks for that. I really needed it.”

In 2020, we’ve all learnt some lessons, but the biggest one, I think, is the importance of a strong community; getting to know the people in your neighbourhood, and knowing that you’ve got support if you find yourself in a crisis.

The other big one is being really grateful for what you have in life. When you practice gratitude, you’re more likely to show acts of kindness, which will then lead others to show acts of kindness. That’s the true notion of paying it forward really – everybody benefits.

It’s why we started Eddie’s Meals, our community food kitchen. There was so much loneliness and isolation in our community – a lot of people were doing it tough. My family and I have a blessed life, which we wanted to share with others. So, every Friday we cook up a big meal with our wonderful volunteers, and we sit down and have a chat with everyone who turns up. We make it an occasion and something to look forward to.

When you give someone your time or your energy, you get it back in return. The stories that we hear from people who turn up to Eddie’s Meals are so inspiring, hearing about people from different backgrounds and the journeys they’ve taken to get to where they are now. You may well decide to stay home after a heavy week and blob out, and that’s okay, but we’ve chosen to put our energy into the community – that’s what’s important for us, particularly at this time of year.

• Be the person to initiate things, like offering your seat on the train, or starting a conversation with people and really listening to what they say.
• If you have elderly neighbours, or someone in your street is doing it tough, make them a meal once a week, or give them a hand with their gardening.
• If you can afford it, pick up a couple of extra food items when you’re at the supermarket and donate to someone in need, or make up a hamper of essentials to drop off to your local charity.
• Donate old clothing and blankets to a local charity.
• Send a text to a friend to see how they are. Leave a friendly note under someone’s windscreen wipers. Buy someone a cup of coffee. Even giving someone a compliment is a great way to pay it forward!
• Treat people as you’d want to be treated, and don’t miss the opportunity to make someone’s day.