Ian Jones: The power of a shared meal

Did you know that sharing a meal with others – even if it’s just occasionally – is proven to reduce stress and boost emotional wellbeing?

Research from Oxford shows that people who eat socially feel happier more often, are more trusting of others and are even more engaged with their local community. There is also evidence to show that sharing food increases levels of oxytocin – also known as the ‘happy’ hormone.¹

Kiwi sporting icon and AIA Vitality Ambassador, Ian Jones, knows all about the value of sharing food. As the founder of Eddie’s Meals, a community kitchen in Takapuna set up for anyone in need of some company and a hot meal, Ian sees the power of a shared meal first-hand. We sat down with Ian to talk about how meals made with love can feed the mind, body and soul.

Eddie’s Meals was inspired by conversations with my wife Janine, who works as a nurse and saw lots of loneliness and disconnection firsthand in the community.

In late 2018, we were in a position to remedy that by sharing our blessings with others who needed them most. The ritual of sharing food is what brings people together, so we thought, why not start a community food kitchen? We wanted to connect our community, inspiring our kids and their friends to get involved by serving and connecting with people outside of their circles.

Despite their busy lives, our family, friends and volunteers dedicated their time to bring this to life, and we’ve never looked back. It has been a real privilege to start Eddie’s Meals, and it’s an absolute joy and a pleasure every month when we come together to host a dinner at Rosmini College in Takapuna.

The joy of sharing a meal is a universal experience, that everyone around the table can enjoy regardless of the language you speak or where you come from.

I’m always inspired by the guests who turn up for our dinners because it takes a lot of courage, especially being in a new space with people they don’t know.

Once you’re at the table, enjoying kai in a safe environment, you can start to share your stories and feel appreciated by everyone around you.

Lots of things encourage people to come to Eddie’s Meals, and we never ask why they are there. Their presence is reason enough, and our doors are always open.  

The joy you get from giving back is a wonderful feeling. These past few years have taught me that when you give your time to those who need it, you get so much more in return.

Everyone wants to do something good for their communities, but they often don’t know how to start or where to go. Eddie’s Meals is just one way of providing them with this opportunity.

Our dinners are especially meaningful to our volunteers because it gives them a way to play a role in their wider community – be it cooking food for people, sharing a story that will make someone laugh, singing a song or performing a dance.

I particularly love seeing kids being actively involved. It’s a skill for them to learn how to mingle with others outside of their families and friends, as it encourages them to look beyond the digital screens and learn how to connect with those outside their circles. 

Food is a universal language that unites us as people. I believe that something as simple as gathering around a table to eat has a profound impact on our emotional health and is just good for the soul.

I have been lucky to see moments of joy that really capture the spirit of connection we’re trying to build in our community.

I’ve seen a family who recently migrated to New Zealand from Iran with young children, make friends with one of our regulars, a retired English teacher. It was a real pleasure seeing them exchange stories and foster a new relationship at the dinner table.

We’ve also had a former ballerina, who was with the British Royal Ballet for twenty-five years, tell her stories of performing in different great halls around the world, and the young girls in the room were completely in awe.

And the community feel extends beyond our dinners. We once had someone going through a difficult time, so we came together on a Sunday afternoon to help clean their house and fix a few things.

I love seeing the joy that comes when people connect over shared stories and life experiences. My perspective changes when I start to listen to their stories, and I often think, “Wow, what an incredible life you’ve led!”.  These conversations have also been a powerful source of learning for the kids who come along and our volunteers.

That’s the beautiful thing about conversations that happen over shared meals – it teaches us how to build community together.

Conversation builds communities, so my tip for those who want to build more community into their everyday life is to simply say hello and engage in conversation with the people you meet.

If you see a rough sleeper or someone going through a tough time, ask how they’re doing. I encourage you to spend time hearing their story. You never know where those conversations will take you.

Another way to build community is prioritising what is important to you and being consistent with showing up for others. We host Eddie’s Meals on the first Friday of every month. Having this in the calendar is something that people can look forward to and prioritise attending.

Time is the most valuable gift we can give people. It doesn’t matter if 30 seconds or five minutes. If you give your time to somebody, you’ll be rewarded tenfold. 

I often reminisce about my childhood growing up by the coast up North. Our family and friends would spend most of our summer days gathering seafood, taking turns shelling the catches of the day and cooking together. It was a whole-day event, and we made an occasion out of it as many hands came together to prepare the meal.

My family nurtured that same energy at Eddie’s Meals, where everyone is welcomed and deserves a seat at the table. We get as much out of these Friday evenings as our guests who come along.

There’s a lot of fun involved when our friends and volunteers prepare the meal, set the table, and clean up together. Everyone contributes in some way, and we all play a role – it really gives everyone a sense of purpose.  

If there is one thing I’d love for people to remember about the power of sharing a meal, it’s that food is simply the medium that connects us. What really matters is how we show up for those when we’re at the table, be it listening to their stories or being vulnerable enough to share our own.

It’s important to show up and give your time to others to foster these relationships. I’m so proud of the little community that Eddie’s Meals has become, and I encourage everyone to try small acts of kindness, like sharing a meal, to make your community a brighter place.