Dame Valerie Adams: Setting goals and finding your routine

In our family, the key is to ease back into our routine gently instead of abruptly. With two young kids, it’s about gradually reintroducing their sleep schedules and expecting some resistance as they adjust.

Keeping positive about the return to normality after a holiday is important for everyone, especially kids. I like to promote a positive mindset: instead of dreading the return to work or school, we count down to it like we would for a vacation or Christmas. I’m really enthusiastic about the start of the school year, while also remembering that we need to be kind to ourselves during times of transition. As a single mum, I often put extra pressure on myself to keep everything running smoothly, so I try to give myself some grace. A gradual return to routine makes the process a lot more manageable!

Routine brings stability, particularly for kids, and helps establish consistent habits. A great routine helps everyone understand what needs to happen and when, to keep the household running smoothly. Kids love predictability and knowing what to expect helps with a smooth transition – right down to the detail of knowing who their teacher is and where their classroom will be.

As we get back to our routine, I involve my kids in preparation tasks, like setting up their uniform, so they feel in control. I’ve learned through experience that allowing them to take charge, even in small ways like choosing their clothes, can help with a smooth transition.

We also plan ahead for meals and lunchboxes. My daughter Kimoana has autism, so we keep things simple for her and make sure foods are the colours and textures she is comfortable with. Food for my son Tava also needs to be planned in advance as he has Type 1 Diabetes. We bake together as a family to make sure we can meet everyone’s dietary needs and keep foods visually appealing, like using cookie cutters for sandwiches. Being organised takes a lot of the stress out of mealtime for me so we can all enjoy what we eat.

For me, setting goals provides direction and purpose – it means I always have something to strive for. The key is to set smart, achievable goals and have a timeline for them to track progress and keep yourself accountable. Lots of people make resolutions but lose motivation when life gets real. So, set goals you can realistically achieve.

Accountability is crucial. Share your goals with trusted friends who will keep you in check and be mindful of creating achievable goals. If you’ve never run before, don’t expect to do a marathon in six months. Be realistic about what you can and can’t do. Smaller, more achievable goals can still give you a good sense of accomplishment and won’t seem as overwhelming as those big chunky goals. Remember, small steps matter.

Last year, I set a short-term goal to run 5km non-stop on a treadmill within three months. That was a big deal for me, being a shot-putter that is not used to running. I tackled it incrementally, starting with 1km and gradually increasing the distance. It was tough, but I did it. Now I’ve found I actually like running, though I have to remember my body is not as young as it once was! 

This year, my long-term goal is to protect my peace. It’s about safeguarding my mental health and wellbeing. This requires deep reflection and learning to change my mindset. It’s an ongoing journey and the goal is to handle things better, by not reacting immediately. 

I want to be mentally and emotionally healthier by year-end. It’s a big challenge because it means confronting painful issues and having difficult conversations. I’m always telling everyone else to look after themselves. Now, I need to do the same for me. If I can achieve that, I’ll be a better person, a better parent, and have a better outlook on life. I can’t control anybody else, only myself. 

Balancing my athletic commitments with family time is a challenge, but I try to prioritise and set clear boundaries. I depend heavily on my wall planner and digital schedule to manage my time. This year I’m out of the country every month except one, so there is a lot going on.

I couldn’t keep all the balls in the air without my support network, which includes my sister and our au pair. We plan well in advance and constantly communicate, not just within our household but also with my manager, World Athletics, and Oceania. 

When I’m home, I ensure I’m present and spend quality time with my family and loved ones. There’s a need for flexibility and balance in all areas of my life, including my job, coaching and my commitment to making a difference in my community. 

I’m fortunate to have amazing, supportive people around me because parenting is tough. But when I’m home, I’m all in. I keep reminding myself that it’s okay to say no and to ask for help when I need it. I like to remind myself regularly that I can’t do everything for everyone, as much as I might want to.