Dame Valerie Adams: focusing on what matters most this Christmas

I love Christmas. It’s busy and a little chaotic, but it is also one of the few times of year when everyone slows down and reconnects. What makes it special for me is the time spent with family. Unlike presents, you can’t buy quality time.

This year feels extra meaningful because I will be connecting with my roots, travelling to Tonga with my whānau. My family is in the process of filling a container up with things to take over for our family members who don’t have much, especially the kids. Being able to share our blessings this Christmas is important to us as a family.

Going to Tonga always serves as a reminder that happiness isn’t about money. It’s about appreciating the small joys we often overlook, like watching the kids filled with happiness while they play in the mud and climb trees.

In the Polynesian community, the main ritual that defines Christmas is our food. We show our love by cooking for and feeding those around us with the kai we’ve prepared together. Spirituality also plays a huge role in our culture, with families dressing in their Sunday best to go to church on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning.

I love making memories with my loved ones during this time - sharing food (like a pig on a spit, especially when you’re in Tonga!) and enjoying each other’s company over card games and quality conversations.

This collection of moments are the puzzle pieces that make up a wider experience of what makes a meaningful Christmas to me. Life gets busy and it can be hard to slow down, but during the festive season I make it a priority to switch off from work and be present. Time with your family is everything because you cannot get it back.

I have never forgotten the people who helped me when I had very little. And now, I want to pass that on. Being of service, whether through your time, your skills or your resources, is one of the most meaningful ways to support others.

This Christmas, we will be hosting a Secret Santa for our family members who don’t have much. It’s times like these when I think about the kids. Many go without, but it doesn’t mean they have to.

Giving is not just about presents, and it does not have to end with the holidays. For my family, it is an all-year mindset. Even the smallest act of service can make someone’s day. For example, we have a small lawn business, and I often deliver packages of baked goods to our clients to say thank you for their business. Other ideas include looking around your home to see what you can repurpose or pass on. Something unused by you may be something life-changing for someone else.

As a mum, it can be a challenge teaching my kids about the value of kindness and giving, especially when we’re so blessed to live in a country that has everything like New Zealand.

It really is about giving them perspective. Taking our children out of their comfort zone is one way of doing it. Going to a place like Tonga allows them to see a different way of living and learn how to be happy with what they have. It makes them realise the material things that may feel are essentials are actually ‘nice-to-haves’.

Great ways to give to others can be sharing your skills to upskill someone else or simply connecting people together.

During my work with the Athletes Commission at the Oceania Cup in Tonga, a colleague mentioned that her husband, a builder, was looking for work. I knew of a local roofing job that needed doing. A few conversations later, he was on the tools, and the roofing was completed.

I find great joy in bringing people together, and empowering others. It can be as simple as opening a door so someone else can walk through it.

Athletes and the sporting world often talk about the importance of legacy – what is your lasting impact beyond the medals? The legacy I want to create for my children is the legacy of giving and being of service to others in a positive way.

Our world needs more kindness, and we need more people to give a helping hand if they have the means to. But that all starts with us as parents – leading by example and in a way that young people can look up to.

The youth of Aotearoa are growing up in challenging times. My own children are still young, but I think often about the world they will inherit. If we make good choices now and lead with compassion, we give all young people a better chance to thrive.

Many people use the holidays as a time to reflect and reset for the new year. Like reviewing the season like we do on a high-performance sport level, it’s important to look at your achievements from the last year and visualise your plans for the new year.

The work really starts a few weeks leading into January, which is a good time to take stock across all the pillars of your life – how you feel physically, mentally, spiritually. Start by asking yourself what you want to achieve, what that looks like in practice and who is in your corner to support you.

It can be difficult to come down from a busy year and channel that energy into self-care. But prioritising your wellbeing matters. Sometimes it means saying no and creating space to breathe. If you do not look after yourself, it eventually catches up.

Life is too short to worry about what other people think you should be doing. My mum passed at 39. I am 41 now. That loss taught me that life can change without warning. Do what makes you happy. If something fills your cup, go and do it.

What motivates me to do that is spending quality time with my family and reconnecting on a deeper level with my home in Tonga, my land and my people. 

My hope for the new year is simple. I want to build on the work we are already doing and support the Pasifika community in a way that truly makes a difference. The need is growing, funding has tightened, and the pressure on families is real. If I can use my voice, my platform and my energy to help even a little, then that is where I want to put my focus.

If I were to choose a word to ground myself in 2026, it would be ‘grateful’. Grateful to wake up each morning. Grateful for my children, our home, and the food on our table. We rush through life so quickly that we often focus on what we lack. Gratitude reminds me to slow down and celebrate what we do have, big or small. A reminder to stay present, stay humble and give back wherever you can.