Learning to prioritise and recharge
During this time of year, everyone just feels kind of ‘blah’. I see it everywhere – at the hairdresser, at the shops. It’s like everyone is a bit flat, but also on a hamster wheel, going round and round. I’ve felt it too, and as a single mum, there’s added pressure. I’m the breadwinner, and I can’t afford to get sick. You can get stuck in this routine where it’s all about surviving each day.
For me, it’s essential to take time to fill my cup before trying to fill others. It’s easier said than done, especially when you’re balancing work, family, and everything else, but setting small goals can make a big difference. Whether it’s making time to exercise or planning little breaks, you need these moments to recharge, even if they seem small.
Saying no
The lead up to Christmas can be overwhelming with all the holiday engagements – work parties, extended family gatherings, Christmas preparations. I’ve learned it’s okay to let go of traditions or obligations that don’t serve you or add unnecessary stress. It’s okay to say ‘no’ and politely decline if something is going to overload you.
I’ve also started involving my kids in the holiday prep. They love being part of the action, and it takes the pressure off me to do everything. It might mean the presents aren’t wrapped perfectly or the decorations aren’t exactly how I’d do them, but that’s fine! It’s about the memories we create together, not perfection.
Reconnecting with nature and exercise
When life gets busy, exercise can be the first thing I neglect, even though I know it’s what I need most. Recently, I realised my morale had dipped, and I had barely exercised in weeks. So, I made a pact with myself to get back into it. Sometimes, it’s about shifting your routine; I used to exercise at night, but now I find morning sessions help me stay grounded for the day.
Beyond exercise, I find peace in nature. Whether it’s a walk by the beach, or hiking in the bush, the outdoors reminds me to slow down and breathe. We’re so lucky here in Aotearoa to be surrounded by natural beauty. Just feeling the sand between my toes or the smell of rain brings a sense of calm.
Breaking down goals to avoid overwhelm
I’ve realised that trying to tackle everything at once is too much. So, I break down my goals so they feel more manageable. I set little milestones to look forward to, like a weekend getaway or even just making it to the end of the school term. When the day feels too heavy, I tick off smaller tasks – and if I don’t get everything done, that’s okay. It’s about progress, not ticking every box.
Gratitude and celebrating small wins
This time of year can make you forget what you’re grateful for. I try to remind myself to celebrate the little wins. I saw a quote recently: ‘Wake up and choose to be grateful.’ It hit me hard because often we let life’s chaos dictate our mood. I’ve learned that I need to choose how I want to feel each day – focusing on the good things, even if they’re small.
Christmas doesn’t need to be all about the fancy gifts or big celebrations. Throughout the year, I try to focus on simple joys. I take my kids to the op shop, give them each a few bucks, and let them choose a pre-loved toy. They’re over the moon. It’s those moments that remind me it can be simple to find joy. The same goes for Christmas – it's about sharing meaningful moments together, not just the gifts.
Asking for help
I used to feel like I had to do it all, but I’ve learned it’s okay to ask for help. My support system may be small, but it is made up of people I trust completely. Knowing they’re there when I need a break or just some time to recharge makes all the difference.
We don’t have to do it all ourselves. As much as I’m always willing to help others, I’ve learned it’s okay to accept support in return.
It’s about filling your cup, so you can be there fully for others.
