Mental health and its impact on your wellbeing

It’s crucial to understand your own mental health and recognise when you need help.

Stress, anxiety and depression all exist on a spectrum. At one end, many of us feel discomfort, which is completely normal. We usually feel this when we step outside of our comfort zones to grow.

On the other hand, sometimes this pressure becomes unbearable – which is the other end of the spectrum.

For people suffering with poor mental health, or those struggling to deal with life’s complexities and challenges, it’s important to know that there are strategies you can use and actions you can take that can help you regain some control over your life.

To achieve mental wellbeing, we need to be in tune with our emotions and be honest with ourselves. We need to stop, check in, and identify the signs when we’re not coping as well as we could be.

These signs might be poor sleeping patterns, or not taking care of ourselves physically. We could be too harsh on ourselves, becoming too critical or isolating ourselves from others. Or we could be using numbing behaviours like drinking, overeating or even online shopping at an abusive level to hide from bigger issues.

When we recognise these behaviours in ourselves, we need to ask, ‘Why am I self-sabotaging, and what is it masking?’

Trying to identify the deeper source of your problems can be achieved in several ways. l like talking it out with someone you can trust, or journaling and reflecting on the triggers and patterns of your emotions. Whichever way you go about it, it’s important to admit if things don’t feel right and to ask for help early, without the fear of judgement.

There should never be a taboo around asking for the help that you need.

I’m married, but I’m not an expert in relationships. If we hit a serious hurdle down the track, I’ll ask for help from a marriage counsellor. When we lost our son Finnan when he was just ten days old, I was experiencing extreme grief that I was not equipped to deal with, so I went to an expert who knew how to help me process my heartbreak.

We’re all wired differently when responding to the pressure, stress and demands of life. We shouldn’t believe that we have all the answers – plus the ability to deal with everything life throws our way – within us.

Sometimes, we need to look outwards. We need to make a choice to reach out and ask for professional help with our mental health and draw on the knowledge and resources that are available to us.

Think of it this way: if you had a broken arm, wouldn’t you go to the ER? We have no problem asking for help with our physical needs, so we should feel comfortable asking for help with our mental and spiritual needs, too.

We’re fortunate in our day and age that when we’re beyond the capacity to deal positively with our own mental wellbeing, there are amazing resources we can access, especially in countries like New Zealand and Australia.

It’s so important to take some time out for yourself every day to decompress – it doesn’t take long, and it’s also a great way to earn AIA Vitality Points. You can earn up to 25 points for 10 minutes of meditation three times a week just by using mindfulness apps like Headspace, Calm or the resources on the AIA Vitality app – find more details here.

The Mental Health Foundation of New Zealand provides support for people suffering mental health challenges, whether they’re one-off or ongoing problems that you need help with. Asking your GP about a mental health care plan is another way forward.

It all comes down to prioritising ourselves and taking action before we reach breaking point. We don’t have to get burnt out, or be in the depths of despair and isolation, before we acknowledge that a shift is needed.

Each and every one of us is important. We need to practise greater self-care and know that we are both entitled to and worthy of support. The first step is usually the hardest, but it’s also the most crucial. Being able to say, ‘something’s not right’ and reaching out for help, is the action that will change things for the better.